Good, bad or medium

A few of you already know where I am going with this. For those who have not yet had the pleasure, well let me take you there.
I keep two boys, Jack (10) and Alex (6). Their mom works out of DC so every other week, Tuesday - Thursday I am at their house for 2 hours to help with homework etc. Their dad, Jay, is there and is usually assisting Jack with his ridiculous amount of 4th grade homework while I entertain Alex and his Kindergarten work. I have come home with tons of stories but I will have to say that this one is the best and grossest, by far. Alex and I were playing Legos or fighters or Bakugan or whatever the game of the day was when he started doing the "I gotta pee" dance. He says "Ms. Jennifer can you check?". I replied "What?" He said more sternly "CAN YOU CHECK?" "Sure whatever, just go to the bathroom then we can check." Oh man, if only I had know what I had just signed up for. So Alex goes into the bathroom and is in there for, well, awhile. Then from the bathroom I hear "Okay! You can check now!" Crap...literally. So I open the door to the bathroom, not sure what I am about to see and there is Alex, on the bathroom floor and he has assumed the "Check position". Let me see if I can paint you a picture...the child is knelt on the floor, head on his folded arms on the floor, butt up in the air and in my direction. Ugh. So I grab some toilet paper and check his wipe job. "Good, bad or medium?" I hear muffled from the floor. "What?" "GOOD, BAD OR MEDIUM?!" "Good, good. Holy Crap." I told Brian, the therapist I work with, this story and now when he asks patients if their swelling is good, bad or medium.