Quotes by Alex: Vol. II

We had been playing "Sand Hunters" - I have no idea, don't ask. We were apparently fighting a battle against some villagers who were dead yet alive and then were faced with some friendly fire by our own Generals, who we were Captains over mind you. All I know is I had 2 water guns, no water, and a Nerf vest that was bullet and fire bomb proof and I was covering Alex. We were hiding in the trenches when this friendly fire first occurred. So...Alex asked me which one of my Generals had betrayed us. I told him I wasn't sure. He told me he knew who his was and then began this elaborate story that I got a kick out of. "General LL has turned on us. You know how I know it is him? Because of his good shot. He is one of my best Generals. My other best General is BB, BB Gun. His last name is Gun. Get it, BB Gun. Anyway, LL cheats. You know how I know that? (He never gives me time to respond, he just keeps going) BB and LL used to walk to shooting school together. They would have cards in their backpacks and after school they would be gambling, you know, playing card games like Go Fish. Well BB would go to the bathroom and when he was gone LL would switch all the cards so he would have more matches and win ALL the money! Can you believe he would do that? That is how I know it is him?"
Yep, they gambled, hard core Go Fish is a VERY serious game.

Quotes by Alex: Vol. I

While sitting at the table I am texting Chad about the Noics meet that night and Alex is eating dinner.
Alex: Jennifer, who are you texting?
Me: My boyfriend, Chad.
Alex: Are you got married yet?
Me: No, I am not married yet.
Alex (very concerned): THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A JOB?!?!


Kids.....

Pick a number...

Alex and I had been playing "basketball". Pretty much we take turns shooting, if you make the shot you get another turn. I, however, had a chalk line drawn for me to stand behind in 3-point range. Our first game we went to 21. He beat me 21-11. We have dinner, do his homework and I convince him to play another game. We have to decide what we are going to for this game. This is how we got there.
Alex: Pick a number 5-1
Me: 2
Alex: Oh, too bad, the number was 6.
Me: Wait, what?
Alex: Yep, we are going to 10
Me: Hold on that makes absolutely no sense. How did you get 10 out of that. And 6 is more than 5.
Alex: You guessed 2 which is 4 away from 6 and 6 plus 4 is 10 so we are going to 10.
Me: 6 is still more than 5.

Good, bad or medium

A few of you already know where I am going with this. For those who have not yet had the pleasure, well let me take you there.
I keep two boys, Jack (10) and Alex (6). Their mom works out of DC so every other week, Tuesday - Thursday I am at their house for 2 hours to help with homework etc. Their dad, Jay, is there and is usually assisting Jack with his ridiculous amount of 4th grade homework while I entertain Alex and his Kindergarten work. I have come home with tons of stories but I will have to say that this one is the best and grossest, by far. Alex and I were playing Legos or fighters or Bakugan or whatever the game of the day was when he started doing the "I gotta pee" dance. He says "Ms. Jennifer can you check?". I replied "What?" He said more sternly "CAN YOU CHECK?" "Sure whatever, just go to the bathroom then we can check." Oh man, if only I had know what I had just signed up for. So Alex goes into the bathroom and is in there for, well, awhile. Then from the bathroom I hear "Okay! You can check now!" Crap...literally. So I open the door to the bathroom, not sure what I am about to see and there is Alex, on the bathroom floor and he has assumed the "Check position". Let me see if I can paint you a picture...the child is knelt on the floor, head on his folded arms on the floor, butt up in the air and in my direction. Ugh. So I grab some toilet paper and check his wipe job. "Good, bad or medium?" I hear muffled from the floor. "What?" "GOOD, BAD OR MEDIUM?!" "Good, good. Holy Crap." I told Brian, the therapist I work with, this story and now when he asks patients if their swelling is good, bad or medium.

Welcome!

So I started a blog. I'm not sure what I will write about. I will probably fill this page with stories from Jack and Alex and things that happen at work. Maybe some Scion stories. Who knows what...I sure don't. Or I will never, ever post. We shall see. Later, like tomorrow I will write a long first blog about me, where I am, what I am doing. But not now, not today because it is late and there is a Nascar race on and Jeff Gordon is in the top 5.